It's all a bad joke
by WatchTheWorldBurn
Summary: What if The Joker wasn’t captured by the S.W.A.T. team at the end of The Dark Knight? What if he escaped the Batman and could just keep doing was he loves to do most? Like... blowing up those two ferry's! Warning: spoilers of The Dark Knight.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** It's all a bad joke

**Author's note:** I wrote this after I'd seen The Dark Knight in the cinema. I was fascinated by how Heath Ledger managed to make The Joker so sinister, I loved him! He scared me to death, but he also made me laugh a lot. RIP Heath Ledger.

**Summary:** What if The Joker wasn't captured by the S.W.A.T. team at the end of The Dark Knight? What if he escaped the Batman and could just keep doing was he loves to do most? Like... blowing up those two ferry's! Warning: spoilers of The Dark Knight.

**Disclaimer:** The Joker, Batman and Harvey are all not mine characters. I'm merely playing with them ;) The flashbacks are direct quotes from The Dark Knight to help readers understand my fanfiction a tad better.

**Chapter 1**

FLASHBACK TO THE MOVIE

The Joker stood in front of the window with his three guard dogs behind him. From this building across the water he could supervise his little 'social experiment' just fine. He just told the two ferry's in the water before him they where loaded with dynamite and that they had to blow each other up to stay alive or else I would blow them both up at midnight. The S.W.A.T. team entered the building. He knew that, but it didn't matter. The Batman could be here any minute now, _that_ is what matters. Adrenaline was pumping through his body of excitement. Tonight was going to be loads of fun! Now only Batty has to show up, then he could enjoy the fireworks andthe look on Batman's face! Because… you know, I'm a man of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite and gunpowder and gasoline!

Suddenly the dogs started growling and I turned around. There was the Batman.

'Ah you made it. I'm so thrilled,' I said while shaking my shoulders loose.

'Where's the detonator?' Batman growled.

I didn't like that. A frown formed on my painted face. No one was going to take away my happiness! 'Go get hem!' I commanded the dogs.

They made a run for the Batman. He hit the first dog aside but the others bit down in his arms and legs, pulling him down to the ground. Ahhh lovely!

Now it was my turn. I grabbed a steal pipe I saw lying around on the ground and I started beating in on the Batman. I totally let go and focused only on the Batman. I hit him as hard as I could on any part of his body I could reach. The dogs got scared of me and got out of the way or else they would have been beaten up as well. The Batman managed to kick me in my stomach and I fell backwards. The Batman got up and looked around, he felt dazzled. I gave him no time to compose and threw him through the window. We landed on the balcony. I quickly pinned him down with a metal construction bar and got on top of him.

'We really should stop this fighting, otherwise we would miss the fireworks.' I told him. Waving my hand calmly at the ferry's.

'There won't be any fireworks.' Batman said.

I moved my hands as if I were counting down as I said: 'And here we GO!' This was exhilarating! I awaited in sheer glee for one of the ferry's to blow the other one up. But… nothing happened. In disbelief I stared over the calm waters. It stayed quiet. The ferry's were still there! Both of them! Why didn't they blow each other up?! This wasn't funny! I watched the clock. Yes, it really was midnight. They _knew _the deadline was midnight! I told them!

'What where you trying to proof? That deep down… everyone is as ugly as you? You're alone.' Batman said. He got his arms under the bar that hold him down and tried to get up.

I threw my steal pipe back on the floor. I felt myself become angry. Very angry. Livid. This-was-_not_-funny!

'You can't relay on anyone these days. You've gotta do _everything_ yourself…' I mumbled to myself. '_Don't we?'_ I growled to the Batman. 'But that's okay, I came prepared.' And I pulled the detonator out of my pocket. 'That's a funny world we live in - speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?' I pointed to the scars on my face that formed a Chelsea smile. A smile I had grown to love and hate.

'No. But I do know how you got these.' Batman said and he lifted is arm.

All of the sudden I felt some kind of blade cut my chest, the detonator flew through the air and Batman kicked me off the balcony. I was funny when I hit someone, it was funny when someone hit _me_.

I was laughing like a maniac as I fell down the building. I was in invincible and it was merely _fun _to wonder through thenight sky as if I could fly. I flapped my arms a little bit. Knowing the Batman would never kill me. And I would never kill Batty. Then I felt a cable wrap itself around my leg and I wasn't flying anymore. I let out a groan as the Batman pulled me up to the balcony again. I hung upside down and faced him.

'Ow, ow you…' I groaned. 'You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmoveable object. You (pant) truly (pant) are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just to much fun.' I said licking my lips, flapping my arms and laughing. 'I think you and I are destined to do this forever'.

END FLASHBACK

Suddenly the cable started making noises it probably shouldn't. And it was letting me down again. Batman tried to pull the cable to keep me near the balcony but he couldn't prevent I was still slowly sacking downwards.

'Ow I like surprises! What are you doing?!' I cackled and realised this wasn't what the Batman had planned to happen.

'No!' Batman growled. 'Someone has sabotaged my cable!'

'It's magical!' I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Batman couldn't hold me still and somehow I started to make my way to the ground faster and faster until I smacked against the pavement with my head.

As always when he hit his head against something, he felt fuzzy and couldn't feel the ache of his chest for a second from where Batman's blade had cut him. He tried to get up and run away but he forgot his foot was still wrapped up in the cable and tripped.

I got a small knife out of my pocket and cut the cable loose. Quickly I stood up, but then I heard gunshots. The S.W.A.T. team had caught up with the Batman and were now shooting at me. I liked that. They can't catch me anyway! I just stood there, laughing, until a bullet hit me in my shoulder. And then another one in my arm. I fell to the floor again. Clutching my injured shoulder. I crawled out of the sight of the S.W.A.T. team and I accidentally

kicked something small with my foot. Not knowing what my foot just touched I looked around and saw my detonator to blow up both ferry's! It must have fallen down when Batty cut me.

'The Joker is on ground level! He is injured! We have to get down! MOVE!' Someone of the S.W.A.T. team yelled.

I groaned and licked my lips. They stopped shooting at me but sure they were on their way to meet me here. I looked up and saw the Batman still standing on the balcony. I jumped up and down, making funny faces at him, ignoring the pain that went through me as I did. The Batman grabbed his cape like bat wings and jumped off the balcony. Not having my shotgun with me… or anything else I could really defend myself with against him, I realised to late my move wasn't such a practical one.

But The Joker is no 'sceamer'… he's a dog chasing cars, making things up along the way. He made a run for the bay that was only a few meters away. Luckily the building across the two ferry's was right in front of the waterside. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and jumped into the water.

It was COLD! By the time I got up to take a breath it all was quiet. I was treading water while listening for any sound of the Batman or the S.W.A.T. team. Then it struck him; the side was up to three meters high. No way anyone could see him over the edge in the water if he stayed close to the side and kept quiet. Then he heard footsteps, but they weren't close to him.

'The Joker is gone.' Is what I heard the Batman say.

'Damn! We were so close! I could have caught that freak!'

'Well, luckily he didn't got to blow up those two ferry's!' Someone else said happily.

Ferry's… yes, the boats! Still treading water I searched my pockets for the detonator. I found it in my coats pocket. Hopefully it still worked. It wasn't too late to enjoy his fireworks. The S.W.A.T. team was looking for him in all the wrong directions. It was so tempting. I was really looking forward to blowing something up tonight! It is what I had been planning for days! Maybe I'm just a little 'sceamer' then, hmm?

I pressed the button.

Nothing happened.

No! I want my fireworks! It want it! I want it! I want my fireworks!

I pressed it another few times, shook the little device and pressed the button again.

BOOOOOOOOMMMM!!

**Author's note:** Well, I hope you liked it. The flashback is a bit long, I know, but I wanted to make things clear for people who haven't seen the movie yet….. are there still people out there who haven't seen the movie yet!? O, and I noticed he liked words such as 'sqeamers' for people who make plans, 'squeeze' for Harvey's girlfriend and 'squeelers' for traitors, so I used it in my story. Make my day and review this story! Tell me the parts you liked and didn't like. I'm from Holland so if you see any mistakes in my writing please let me know. It would really help me out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I was far away in the water from where the two ferry's blew up, but I could feel the warmth of the explosion on my face. I could feel the shockwave through my battered en bruised body. The smile that was carved and painted on my face widened even more. took a few minutes before he could hear again, he always got that with loud noises. Then he noticed the screams. Thousands of terrified screams from the people on the dock. People who were watching the two ferry's explode just like he was doing. The Joker truly is a better class of criminal.

I snickered as I watched the chaos. 'I _love _this job!' This surely was worth all the trouble he went through to get to enjoy his fireworks.

There was almost nothing left of the boats. They were on fire. Thick and pitch-black smoke was filling the sky. Some passengers survived his 'fireworks', they were in the water between the wreckages of the boats yelling for help. The police and fire-fighters were heading towards the ferry's. Trying to save what was left.

It was like watching the world burn.

This is what he lived for. But right now… I really had got to get out of this water. It was cold and he won't be able to swim for much longer because of the bullet wounds in his shoulder and his arm. There was nothing he could grab to hold on to. And the side was way to high for him to climb out of the water. He didn't see any ladders or ropes either…

He swam along the edge for some time. Hoping he would find a ladder of some sort. They do have ladders at the waterside… don't they? He swam, swam, swam…

'O my god, Bill! The Joker blew these ferry's up! All those people! He killed them!' A female voice cried.

'Calm down, sweetheart…' A male voice said. Probably Bill.

'CALM DOWN?! CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE?!'

'Please Jenny. I saw the same thing you did and –'

'I can't believe you work for this guy!'

'Jenny, he forced me! At least I can support you and our child now!'

Jenny was silent for a while. She was crying. Bill let her be, trying to calm his own temper. He didn't like it when his girlfriend reminded him he worked for The Joker. He hated it even more when he took another look at the bay and the burning ferry's. And he thought back to the day he stopped working for Gamble and joined The Joker's team.

FLASHBACK TO THE MOVIE

'Hey, Gamble. There's somebody here for you. They say they've just killed The Joker. They've brought the body.'

Bill en Mo were Gamble's henchmen. They were two big African-American guys with broad shoulders. A body wrapped in plastic bags was thrown on the floor.

'So, dead? That's 500 –' says Gamble.

'How 'bout alive, hmm?' The Joker snarled. Jumping up and holding a sharp knife against Gamble's mouth. His men were holding Bill and Mo down.

'You wanna know how I got these scars?' The Joker whispered in the man's ear. He nods his head as if he were saying _yes you do_. 'My father was a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off _crazier_ than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, _laughing_ while he does it. He turns to me and says: 'Why so serious?' He comes at me with the knife: 'Why so serious?!' He sticks the blade in my mouth. 'Let's put a smile on that face!' Aaannndddd… Why so serious?'

Gamble fell to the floor. Dead.

'Now, our operation is small. But there is a lot of potential for _aggressive expansion_.' The Joker's henchmen were nodding and stood proudly as he continued talking. 'So which of you fine gentleman would _like_ to join our _team_?' He looked over at Bill and Mo. 'O, and there's only one spot open right now –' The Joker grabs a pool stick and breaks it in half on his knee. '- so were gonna have _tryouts.'_ He says while observing which stick has the sharpest point. He throws one of them in front of Bill and Mo.

'Make it fast.' He says as he walks away. His henchmen release Bill and Mo. They look at each other in disbelief. Terrified. With the sharp pointed stick between them on the floor.

END FLASHBACK

Bill never told Jenny what really happened. That means he would have to confess murder. Because that's what he did. He murdered his friend, Mo, to survive.

Meanwhile The Joker was still in the water. He was having a hard time. He got cramp and was unable to use the arm he was shot in. His chest started hurting real bad. And when the cable suddenly snapped he hit his head on the ground. When he heard the two people say that one of them apparently worked for him he smelled his chance.

'Uhmmm, excuse me?' I called in a very soft tone of voice. 'Hello?'

'Bill! I think there's someone in the water!' Jenny said worried.

'Could you please get me out of here? I'm so tired…' Is all I could say before finally giving up. I was exhausted and every part of my body was hurt. I had to manipulate the people on land to take me out of the water or else I wouldn't be able to laugh at my own stupidity afterwards ever again.

Bill and Jenny looked over the edge into the dark waters. They saw a man having a hard time keeping his head up.

'O my god! Bill, help this poor man!' Jenny said panicked.

Bill laid down on the edge and reached his hand out so that I could grab him. He pulled me out of the water.

'Are you all right, mister?' Jenny asked me.

The Joker had never been happier that it was dark. Because it seemed these people didn't recognise him for who he was at all! The water must have washed the make-up away.

'Yes, thank you.' I said gasping for breath. I didn't like to thank people. It just wasn't my thing. But I had to keep saying socially-wished-for words or they'd get suspicious. I was in no state to defend myself right now. It was so cold I just couldn't stop shaking. Anger boiled up inside of me because I hated feeling so weak.

'How did you end up in there? It is very dangerous to take a midnight swim in these waters, especially because there's no way you can get back on land all by yourself. The side is to high you see'. Jenny babbled. 'Ow of course you know the side is to high. Do you need some towels, sir? Have you had dinner? I am going back home, Bill, to get this poor man some towels and stuff. Sir, you could spend the night with us! It is dangerous to travel right now. The Joker just blew up two ferry's full of people! Ow of course you know the ferry's blew up. You kind of had a seat in the first row from down there –'

'Jinny, go and get these towels'. Bill said. Calming his upset girlfriend and she left.

'I'm sorry, sir. She talks to much sometimes.' Bill apologized to me. He grabbed my arm to hoist me on my feet and I let out a cry of pain. 'I'm sorry! Did I hurt you, sir?'

'Ugh, I got shot in that arm…' I grumbled. Suppressing the ache to hit this man in his face or cut him into tiny pieces.

Bill supported me as we walked in the same direction Jenny went. He walked to the pavement and as soon as we got under the streetlights he suddenly dropped me. In the light he could now see my face and he recognized me.

'You!' He growled at me. 'It's you!' Pointing to my face.

I shrugged. 'That's not a nice way of saying hello to your boss.' Basing that completely on their conversation I overheard, because I swear to the Devil I'd never met the guy. Perhaps I'm killing too much of my henchmen?

'You may not have your _war paint_ on, but I do remember those scars! You're a _freak_!'

'All right. Look. Listen –'

'Freak! You made me murder my best friend! You just killed hundreds of people on those boats!' He balled his fists and looked around the abandoned alley. 'Give me one good reason why I should keep you alive!'

'I'll give you five million dollars if you help me out.'

To be continued…

**Author's note:** Now isn't that a good cliff hanger? And another flashback to remind you all to a very _funny _scene of The Dark Knight. Apparently Bill didn't think is was quite that funny! Let me know your opinion of this fanfiction! If you have any ideas I may try to include them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

FLASHBACK TO THE MOVIE

I stood on top of the biggest pile of money I had ever seen. Working with to mob turned out to be a pretty good move. I spread my arms, feeling like the king of the world.

'Yoo not as crazy as yoo look.' Said the mob boss with the cigar dangling in the corner of his mouth.

I jumped off the giant heap of dollar bills while saying: 'I told you, I'm a man of my word.' I landed smoothly but not gracefully on my feet. 'Where's the Italian?' I picked up some of the piles and threw it roughly at one of my henchmen's head who sat on top of the pile. I didn't like the fact that he was sitting there, like it was _his _money, like _he _was king of the world.

'What yoo do with all yoo money?' The guy with the cigar asked me.

'You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite and gunpowder and… GASOLINE!' My henchmen began throwing gasoline over the money immediately after I said the word.

The guy with the cigar startled and was about to walk up to my henchmen but I shushed him backwards, pointing my gun at him.

'And you know the thing that they have in common? They're cheap.' I told him.

He mumbled something I didn't quite understand and I pulled the cigar out of his mouth. 'Ow, and I'm only burning my half.'

I threw the cigar onto the billons of dollars.

'All you care about is money…'

The mob guy just stood there. Stunned. Looking with his big eyes at the raging fire. Completely dazzled and astonished. It was only then that he realised he had made a huge mistake. They had turned to a man they didn't fully understand.

END FLASHBACK

Bill didn't say anything for a long time. He just looked at me. I was on the ground, panting, clutching my wounded shoulder, blinking my eyes. I didn't really have those five million dollars I promised him, because I burned my share the mob gave me, just to see the look on their faces as I did it, to scare them, but I sure do hoped Bill would accept the offer!

'You're lucky none of my friends and family were on those boats!' Bill grumbled. He bent down to help me stand up again. Seeing that as a 'yes' to my proposal I let him slung my arm around his shoulders and half drag me over the streets.

He stopped in front of a huge flat. Inside it was dirty, it looked like some ghetto building were drug dealers would live. There was no lighting. He took me up the stairs and I think we were halfway there when Jenny re-appeared out off the shadows.

'Bill, why didn't you just take the lift? That poor man can hardly stand on his legs!'

Bill looked gruff and looked down at his feet. Now knowing who this man was, he didn't care at all whether he could walk the stairs or not. They just had to keep him alive and then they would get enough money for the rest of their lives. He could finally afford a better place for his child and girlfriend. They didn't deserve to live in this dump.

'Come inside, sir.' Jenny said kindly. She put the key in the keyhole and opened the front door. Bill dragged me inside.

'We need to get you out of these wet clothes, sir.' Jenny said and she started pulling on my coat. I let out a small moan of pain as Jenny pulled my sore arm. 'Are you hurt? I'm a –' Bill turned the lights on and Jenny stopped in her mid-sentence. She saw the scars on my face and my 'Joker outfit'. Anyone would recognise me in my purple suit and with my make-up on, but apparently the suit, the scars and the fact that her boyfriend was one of my henchmen, was enough for Jenny to understand. She jumped backwards and muffled a scream. She looked over at Bill and felt absolutely horrified. What kind of monster had they brought into their home!?

Bill gently grabbed Jenny's hands and took her into another room. I sat on the table, letting out a deep sigh. Looking around the room. I was in the kitchen. It was small but cosy and nicely decorated. I never cared about that kind of stuff. Actually, my current room wasn't even wallpapered. I licked my lips and touched the insides of my cheeks with my tongue. A habit of mine. I could feel the scars if I smacked like that.

I heard them whisper furiously. Bill was explaining to her I would give them a whole lot of money. Jenny didn't want to have anything to do with it. She almost _begged_ Bill to put me back on the streets again. From the silly arguments Bill gave her I got the impression he didn't even dare to put me out of his house. Jenny became desperate and I heard her crying. She was afraid of their child's safety with me around. Then Bill put his foot down and made her clear their conversation was over.

When they came into the kitchen again Jenny was still upset.

'Fetch him up.' Bill commanded to her. He was holding a bundle of blankets. And he was carrying a big bag in rainbow colours. When his 'bundle of blankets' started crying it dawned on me that he was holding a baby. I stretched my neck to get a better look but Bill darted out of my reach. 'I'll be back as soon as I can, darling.' He closed the door behind him as he left the apartment.

I stood up warily and Jenny immediately backed off. I drove her into a corner. 'So, dear old Bill is dumping the kid someplace else?' I asked.

With my gloved hands I touched her face and smeared blood all over her.

Blood?

Where did that came from?

I looked myself over. I was covered in blood. No wonder my body felt so sore.

I passed out.

--

When I woke up again I was lying in a bed. The morning sun was blocked out with heavy curtains. On a small table next to my bed I saw my clothes. I got up and immediately regretted that. My body hurt like hell. I thought back to last night and grinned. I had had a great time, apart from the fact that I passed out in the kitchen.

The Joker wasn't supposed to pass out… What is wrong with me? I opened the curtains and blinked at the light. My head stung painfully.

The door creaked. I looked up and saw Jenny in the opening. 'You have to get back in bed.'

'Sure if you just come lay next to me.' I joked.

She didn't get that one.

It wasn't funny if you had to explain the joke…

My head really hurt from the sunlight.

'I think you have a minor concussion.' She closed the curtains again. 'Get back into bed, Joker.'

To be continued…

**Author's note: **Does anyone know the guy's name from the money scene? The one with the cigar?Ow, and let me know what you think of my story! It would really help me out :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was the day after that I finally felt better. My clothes were nice and clean. And neither Jenny nor Bill took anything out of my pockets (knifes, pencils, bombs, playing cards… yes still there) jeej! I walked into the kitchen. Jenny was making breakfast. I hadn't seen the kid since the day Bill took him out. Speaking of which… I didn't see Bill much either.

I sat down on the kitchen table. Acting like I owned the place. I Propped my foot up upon a chair and folded my hands innocently and childish on my lap. 'Why won't you come and sit next to me, hmm?' I asked Jenny.

She stood at the counter and took a deep breath, collected all her courage to face me. I grinned, finding it amusing she had such difficulty with having me around. She slowly pulled out a chair and sat down. I know I look scary… and I use it all the time. I ran my tongue sloppily over the scars inside my mouth to draw extra attention to them. A story already forming itself in my head.

'You wanna know how I got these scars?' I ask her and I slide my hand into my coats pocket. She decided she would cope with me best if she ignored me.

I _hate _being ignored.

I pulled out the knife and leaned over to Jenny. Right then and there I noticed how beautiful she was. And I liked pretty things. But she still wasn't paying attention to me. I slid down off the table and sat on the chair, closer to her.

'LOOK AT ME!!'

She startled and didn't stop trembling.

'Come here.' I took the knife to Jenny's mouth and put my hand behind her neck. She didn't even try to struggle. A beautiful woman with no fight in her at all? We were so close our noses almost touched. She shut her eyes. I roughly forced her to open them again by yanking her head.

'You know, I had a girlfriend. _Beautiful_, like you. And every man wanted her, but she was mine you see. One night I took her out to a restaurant. We had a _great_ time, it was past midnight when we left. On our way home we walked through an alley. And there were some people who wanted to mug us. But then they saw how _beautiful_ she was and they tried to rape her. But I wouldn't let that happen, you see. And I got myself into a fight with them. They held me down while one of them puts a knife on my face. Like _this_, and he sliced my cheeks open. From here to _here_. My girlfriend simply couldn't bear to look at me anymore. She _left_ me. But now I'm always smiling!'

Horrified by my story she sat here motionless.

'Ow don't be so serious! Loosen up a little, doll!' I laughed and threw my arms happily up in the air.

'Maybe I should tell you a joke then, hmm? How about this one: so there's this jail. And one day all the prisoners escape. What happened? The guard accidentally pressed the _escape button_!' I laughed hysterically. Clutching my shoulder that still hurt from the bullet.

'I'm a nurse.' Jenny whispered. 'If your shoulder still hurts I need to look at the wound again.'

I don't know where Jenny suddenly got all brave about, but she undid the buttons of my shirt just far enough so that she could see the bullet wound. I let her, fascinated by the sudden change of character.

'Bill said you were shot in your arm. Where else are you hurt?' Her voice had gotten more professional, that must be it. It was like Jenny switched into nurse-mode.

'Ow, uhmmm…' Looking at the ceiling trying to remember everything that had happened that night. 'I hit my head… got shot at, cut my chest and my leg… and that was about it.'

'If you take your shirt off I'll take a look at the injury's'.

I took my shirt off and let her examine my shoulder and my arm. She said I was lucky because the bullets went right through and didn't hit anything important inside. Jenny brushed my hair aside and took a look at the bump on my head. I got butterflies in my stomach, always got that when someone touched my hair. She disinfected the open wounds with alcohol and refreshed the bandages.

The next day I had almost all of my strength back and I wanted to go outside. To see the wreckage of the ferry's. People crying over their beloved ones that had died. Maybe even a small sort of podium covered with flowers and candles to remember them.

Jenny gave me the key so I could let myself in. Not that a key prevented me from coming in or out a house… if I wanted to go back in I would just break the door down. Something I did at my own place quite regularly. I was so busy with all those exciting things I was working on I always forgot that damned key.

I didn't get disappointed. The ferry's were still out on the water. They were black and big pieces were missing. Police boats were probably doing an investigation or something or else they would have cleaned up the mess, wouldn't they? I was still cold outside and I pulled the collar of my coat up high. The wind made a mess of my hair and I shut my eyes. Just enjoying the feeling, the thrill of what I did that night.

Money was never a problem for The Joker. Whenever he got a shortage of it he just did a 'bank job'. Not so very original, but not so very boring either. If he felt like doing something _different_ he would just go to the mobs and find a way to manipulate them.

Back at Jenny's place I saw Bill was home at last. And he sat in the living room with the baby on his lap. I didn't give him any of my attention and walked directly to the bathroom and locked myself in. I looked at the mirror and stared at my own face.

I wanted my make-up back on.

Pulling random drawers open to find any kind of make-up Jenny should have in here, I looked behind the towels, on top of the closet, in the shower… and finally I found it just laying right in front of me on the sink. I got out the palest foundation she had and began putting it on my face. Painting a coarse smile with Jenny's bright red lipstick all the way up my cheeks. And pulling out her darkest shade of eye shadow I drew my black raccoon rings.

When I came out again Jenny and Bill stopped talking and looked at me. Right, I got their full attention now. What should I do with it?

'You're crazy'. Bill whispered to me.

'I'm not.' I said stubbornly. 'No, I'm not.'

He started giggling softly. Jenny's mouth fell open as she looked in surprise at her boyfriend. Never daring to laugh at someone like The Joker. But there he was, laughing at him. And his laugh got louder and louder.

'You're a monster.' Bill said challengingly.

'I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the –'

I got interrupted by Bill's hysterical laughing.

I _hated_ to be interrupted.

My knife already in hand I jumped on the couch on top of him. The baby fell out of his arms. I looked him in the eye. Holding my knife to his throat, drawing a little blood. His eyes were strange. His pupils were very dark and seemingly bigger than they were supposed to be. I knew a man under the influence of drugs when I saw one, and Bill most definitely was one.

'No please! Don't kill me! I'll do anything! Take my girl!' Bill screamed at the top of his lungs.

'You know, I don't think I want your girl. She's not feisty, and I really prefer fierce.' I whispered into his ear. Smearing some of my make-up on his collar.

'I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was just kidding –'

'You see, it's not funny if you have to explain the joke.' And I dragged the knife along his throat. Sliding him open. Blood spurted out. Making a mess. Iewww

I got up and heard Jenny gasp for breath. I totally forgot about her. The baby was crying.

She sat in a corner apposite him. Huddled in the dark in a foetus position. I walked up to her and sat on my haunches in front of her.

'Shhhh.' I petted her. 'Bill just made a little mistake. A fatal error of judgement. Like a bad joke. It's unpredictability, my beautiful.' I said, trying to sound sympathetic. I tried to get closer to her. Testing how far I could go before she squirmed. And she did. 'You look nervous.'

Jeez that baby's crying was really getting annoying!

Jenny suddenly burst out crying. 'I told Bill to put you out! I _begged_ him to not let you into our house!'

'And look what he got for not listening to you. Does it depress you, beautiful? To know you're all alone?'

She covered her ears with her hands and tried to block me out. Didn't this woman understood by now I _hate _not being in the centre of attention?!

'Look at me.'

Jenny began humming a song softly.

'LOOK AT ME!'

I yanked her arms and plunged my knife into her stomach. _That _got her attention. She looked at me, eyes wide. She folded her hands over her stomach, blood was everywhere. I wouldn't take long before she died.

'You promised…' She squeaked. 'Promised… lots of money…'

**Author's note: **Tough eh? Money problem solved! But… The Joker is a man of his word, what will he do when he remembers that? Please review! I don't care whether it's bad or not. What doesn't kill you can only make you… stranger ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Jenny sat with her back against the wall on the floor. Slightly bentover, she was starting to loose her strength to sit up straight. Clutching her hands over the hole in her stomach, blood poured all over her.

I sat next to her with my back against the wall and my legs stretched. My trousers got soaked with her blood but that was okay. I started at the ceiling. Playing with my knife. Listing to her as she struggled to stay alive. I lifted my arm and put it around her shoulders. I placed my hand under her chin and pulled her head up to face me. I kissed her on her cheek. Her skin was soft and I let my tongue slide over her nose. She squirmed. 'Perhaps you're lucky you never fought me, or else I would've wanted to go all the way.' I let her go. She didn't have enough strength to keep her head up anymore. Now what kind of fun was a woman like that?

Her breathing got weaker every time she exhaled. And then she just stopped breathing. I stayed next to her for some time after that. Calmly playing with my knife. The baby had stopped crying a long time ago.

I started feeling very drowsy.

When I woke up to the baby's cries my neck was stiff from sleeping on the ground. Bill's dead body lay on the couch, with his throat slid open and blood had seeped deep into the furniture. Jenny's body sat slumped next to me on the ground in a pool of blood. I still had my knife in my hands. The very knife that just killed these two stupid people. The very knife that made him not keeping him promise. Shit… and here I am, always saying I'm a man of my word.

'Wheeeeeheeee' did the baby. It was on the floor and his tiny little clothes were just as messy as my own.

And then I got this great idea. I would just do another bank job and somehow leave the baby with the money. Now wasn't that noble of me? I truly am a good person! (we just leave out the fact that I just killed his parents, but hey you can't have it all)

I got up and felt cold. The blood made my clothes stick to my body. The baby kept on crying and I looked at it. Gently probing it with my foot. It stopped screaming and winked at me. It's cheeks were wet with tears. And then it giggled at me. It held it hands up as if to try and reach me. I bucked and picked it up under it's armpits.

Together we went back into the bathroom. I stole a glance at the mirror and had to chuckle at the sight of the two of us. Both completely covered in red wetness. I put the baby on top of the towel rack and I let the water from the shower pour while I undressed. Then I hold the baby again and pulled his shirt of. Jeez that was difficult. And uhmmm… it turned out to be a boy, not an_ it_ hihi!

'That's good because we can't get under the shower together if you'd be a girl.' The baby giggled again.

I let the hot water stream over my back and held the baby closely to my chest. Blood is really hard to wash off. I grabbed a sponge and tried to wipe some blood off the baby. He started crying again.

'Ow, you're so hard to please! Just hold still will ya!' I grumbled, but the baby only screamed louder and louder. 'What is it? You don't like to water nice 'n hot like I do?' I turned the tab down from the hot water so that the shower got a little colder. The baby stopped crying. 'Hey I'm good with baby's!

**Author's note: **I'm sorry the chapter is so short, but I'm having a hard time coming up with new ideas…


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